IFS Therapy in Tampa, FL
When One Part of You Wants to Move Forward, but Another Part Takes Over
Have you ever felt like your emotions or behaviors hijack you? Something triggers you, and suddenly you're reacting in ways you don't want to. Maybe you snap, shut down, people-please, or criticize yourself. Sometimes you even feel disconnected from yourself, like you're watching it happen but can't stop it. Afterward, you wonder, "Why do I keep doing that?"
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps you understand the different parts of yourself that drive these reactions. Often, these parts developed to protect you from being hurt. When you understand why they're showing up, you can begin to respond differently instead of feeling like they're in control.
Serving Tampa and New Port Richey, Florida
You Keep Reacting in Ways You Don't Want To
Maybe you get angry over something small and later regret what you said. Maybe you shut down when someone gets upset with you. Or you find yourself trying to keep everyone happy, even when it means ignoring your own needs.
You know these reactions aren't helping, but in the moment, they feel impossible to stop.
IFS therapy helps you understand what's happening underneath these reactions, so you can begin to change them.
How Different Parts of You Show Up in Everyday Life
You may not realize it, but different parts of you can show up throughout your day, especially when you're stressed, hurt, or overwhelmed. Here are some ways you might notice them.
You React in Ways You Don't Want To
You snap at someone you love, shut down during an argument, or say yes when you really want to say no. Later, you wonder why you reacted that way, especially when you knew you didn't want to.
You're Hard on Yourself
You replay conversations, worry about what others think, or feel like nothing you do is ever good enough. Even when you try your best, there's a part of you that keeps finding something wrong.
You Feel Like You Have to Keep Everyone Happy
You put other people's needs ahead of your own because you don't want to disappoint anyone. Saying no makes you feel guilty, and you worry that speaking up might upset someone or push them away.
You Avoid Things That Feel Too Hard
You put off difficult conversations, stay busy to avoid your feelings, or pull away when someone gets too close. Part of you wants things to change, but another part is afraid of what might happen.
You Feel Overwhelmed by Your Emotions
Sometimes sadness, fear, or anger feels so strong that it's hard to think clearly. You may know your reaction is bigger than the situation calls for, but you can't seem to calm yourself down.
What Do These Reactions Have in Common?
In IFS therapy, we understand that these reactions often come from parts of you that learned to protect you from being hurt. Even when their actions cause problems today, they're usually trying to help in the only way they know how.
IFS helps you get to know these parts, understand what they're afraid of, and help them find new ways to respond so you can feel more in control of your life.
What is IFS therapy?
IFS stands for Internal Family Systems. It is also called parts work.
We all have parts. The part that stays on guard. The part that keeps everyone happy. The part that pushes you to do more. The younger part that still feels scared and alone.
These parts took on their jobs to protect you, often a long time ago. They are still working hard, even when the danger has passed.
In IFS therapy, we stop fighting these parts and start listening to them. When a part feels heard, it can trust that you are safe now and let go of the job it took on.
IFS and inner child healing
Many of the parts that carry the most pain are young. They hold what you felt when you were small and had no one to help you make sense of it.
IFS gives you a way to go back to those younger parts with the care they needed then. Clients often say this is the first time they have felt kind toward themselves.
How IFS and EMDR work together
I am trained in both IFS and EMDR, and I often use them together.
IFS helps us get to know the parts that protect you, so they feel safe enough to let us near the painful memories. EMDR then helps your brain process those memories so they finally feel like the past.
Together, they help what you know in your head reach the part of you that feels.
What healing can feel like
The inner critic gets quieter.
You respond to people instead of reacting.
You feel less pulled in two directions.
You can be kind to yourself without forcing it.
You feel more like yourself again.
Leslie de Graaf, IFS and EMDR Therapist in Tampa
I’m a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and EMDRIA Approved EMDR Consultant in Tampa Bay. I help adults who have been carrying trauma for years, often quietly, while everyone around them thinks they’re doing fine.
My work combines IFS parts work, inner child healing, EMDR, and a nervous system approach. The goal is to heal at the root, so your head and your heart finally agree, and you don’t need therapy forever.
Ways to work together
Weekly sessions: 60 minutes, in person in South Tampa and New Port Richey.
Half-day intensives: 2 to 3 hours of focused work on a specific memory or pattern.
Multi-day retreats: 2 to 5 days at The Hacienda on the Cotee River in New Port Richey, with 6 hours of therapy a day.
Not sure which fits? We’ll figure it out together during your consultation.